I have been working on this guy all week. I've had to take more breaks, eat more chocolate (dark of course), and drink more rum than you could possibly imagine! This guy has been stressing me out!!! He refused to give me his name or his story. Possibly due to the fact that I gave him plastic eyes. They are hollow and do not posses the life or soul of hand painted eyes. Anyway, I came across some eyes and thought that I should put them to use. Well, never again! I have never known a creature to be able to hide it's entire identity and persona to me for so long. I began to feel rejected. My feelings of rejection caused me to retreat further into my anti-social reclusive ways. My only companions were the rum and chocolate. I gave him the silent treatment yesterday and apparently, it worked. Today out of the blue he decided to tell me a bit of his story. He is a garden gnome. Not just any garden gnome mind you. Oh no! He is a royal garden gnome. His clothing is made of the finest spider silk and golden lace and he wears a look of nobility on his gnomie little face.